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Wed, Feb. 9th, 2005, 07:46 am
angel430: I am speechless

I really can't think of anything to say to you. I don't know what to do and it seems like you don't want anyone else's opinions other than yours and you want all of us to agree with yours. I'm sorry. Yes, I want you to fullfill your dreams of going to school and getting those degrees. But in the end, I am the one that's stuck waiting in the wings. And while that is fine with me, it also breaks my heart that you cannot see reason. I am not giving ultimatems, I am simply telling you that for you to go to an expensive school for however long and living together isn't going to cut it. There is just no way. You don't seem to see that. It's your decision, like I said last night, but you need to make it fast. I am not putting any guilt trips on you whatsoever. It's up to you. Your decision, your choice. There is nothing that I can do, nor will I do. I won't stop you from making the choices you do for your life. If you want to go to school, then we need to be put on hold as far as moving out and getting married. It's just not going to work. I'm sorry.

I don't know what else to say or do at this point. So don't bring me in until you make your decision and know what you want. I can't go through this heartache and it will be better for me to support you after you do this.

Wed, Feb. 9th, 2005 02:25 pm (UTC)
bleise: Please understand

I understand how you feel as if I am pulling everything out from under you and like I am throwing away everything we have worked for. This is not the case and I will make a decision shortly. I am not quite sure how soon, but I need to gather information to make a good decision. At this point, all I am doing is gathering info., after I get that info and sort things out, I want to sit down with you and show you what I have to bring you into the loop. I am not going to make a decision without you at least talking with me. You do not have to be scared, we can still buy stuff for the wedding and the wedding is still on. You may not think it is possible for me to go to school and have all the other aspects of our lives work out, but I want you to respect my wishes and not be mad at me for trying to make it feasible. I will not go to school if I do see proof for myself that it is not going to work, but I want to at least look into it as an option. I know you support me in whatever I do, and you are trying to show it while being worried about us. The good thing is, you can trust me not to stab us in the back. I love you and you are my world, if going to school will end up hurting you (and I must be able to see why), then I will not go. But if I can find a way to do it and not hurt you or us, then I am serious about doing it. Please let me gather that info and wait for me to sit down to talk to you about it.